OK, literally as I finished that sentence the laptop I am using just randomly switched itself off! I figured that was the Universe trying to tell me to STOP TRYING TO WRITE A BLOGG NO ONE CARES...but because the internet is so very, very clever and useful when I logged back on it had saved my work automatically, marvelous!
This actually leads me nicely on to the topic I wish to discuss in this blogg; that magical force of (anti) nature that we all revolve our lives around, that endless supply of information, that portal of access to the lives of our friends, families and people who don't even know, the thing that we, as human beings seem to not be able to function without (second to oxygen)- THE INTERNET!
I know that this isn't exactly a new take on the subject, I feel like many of us are well aware of the fact that the internet, although it has revolutionized the way we live our lives, has also made so many of us socially inept, unable to communicate with others or survive without a WiFi connection! This being said, until my monster commute between Costa Rica and Missouri last Saturday, I hadn't been in a situation recently where this problem had been so screamingly obvious. While making this journey I couldn't help but be actively aware of how frantic and absurd people behave when for some reason the internet is not available to them. The sad thing is, if I too had not been denied the delicious internet connection that we were all deprived of I probably wouldn't have taken a second glance at what the other travelers were doing! Sad, but probably true!
Apparently it takes longer door to door to get from San Jose, Costa Rica to Kansas City, Missouri than it does to get from London to NYC, that is if you have the appalling connections that I had booked myself on! There was no direct flights from A to B even if you had a million dollars to blow on flights so I settled for a flight with one connection, so two planes in total. It is one of those things that I am sure everybody has done (or at least I hope I'm not the only person that is guilty of not fully reading the itinerary/times/fine details....?) where you book something way in advance of actually doing it and then you forget about what it is you have actually booked yourself to do. In my defense, saving for this trip for a year and factoring in a total of 8 flights, one mega road trip, a greyhound and various other buses and taxi shuttles I think I can forgive myself for not know wtf was going on the entire time! Anyway,I digress. So the journey plan was as follows:
Saturday
3:00pm- Shuttle bus from Tamerindo to San Jose (5hrs)
8:00pm-Arrive at San Jose Airport (it's small, by the way) (5hrs waiting)
00:55am- Flight from San Jose to Houston Texas (4hrs 30 mins)
Sunday
5:00am-Land in Texas
7:00am- Finally get through security/customs/immigration (2 bloody hours!!!) (followed by a 4hr 30min wait for the connection...)
11:35am-Flight to Kansas City, Missouri (2 hrs)
2:30pm- Land in Kansas, get greeted by the most beautiful red head and most strapping Spaniard in town! #madetheentireordealtotallyworthit
So to save you all working out the ratio of flying time to waiting time it was roughly 17 hours dicking about and 6 hours in the air! So that is 23 hours in total and it took an hour or so to get o back to Em and Jaime's place so that is literally 24 HOURS and I slept for about 3 of them (2 on the plane, 1 in Houston Airport)
My point is, with all that waiting around on my own I was bored, tired and uncomfortable...so what do you do to alleviate these feelings? Well, you check Facebook of course, you watch YouTube videos of course, you play music from Spoitfy Premium of course! But all of that does my actual head in after a while because the mindless scrolling and swiping around the phone makes my brain feel numb and my eyes hurt so I made sure I had my book to read and my not book to write in too. Lucky I did...
I was fortunate enough to sit next to a friendly guy from Chicago on the first shuttle bus to the airport, who had the sensible idea of bringing a four pack for the journey. The driver made a joke when he got on that he had already started drinking so I said something like "you're not allowed to drink beer unless you've got one for everyone" to which he replied "you can have one, they're only going to get warm!" Legend. So we had a good chat for the first hour or so of the journey so that kept me entertained internet free, then we had a pit stop, then I listened to some music (offline, I was clever and learned how to download playlists so you can listen to them offline- I have Courteney to thank for that!) then we had another chat then we were pretty much at the airport so that part of the journey was pretty painless, nicely air-conditioned and internet free!
I was starving by the time I got to the airport and seeing as I was a million hours early I decided to get some food in the only cafe in the terminal and I couldn't help but notice the enormous sign that stated FREE WIFI FOR OUR CUSTOMERS. The only thing left to eat was a weird chicken lasagna which I reluctantly paid 10 dollars for and consumed while people watching around the cafe. Next to me was a young hippy looking couple from with their tatty backpacks and a laptop, across the way was a glam looking older lady on her tablet and over the other side was a Costa Rican girl about my age on her phone. All of them online (I presumed). After eating the odd lasagna and drinking the disgusting fluorescent 'Fanta' I switched on my WiFi, entered the password LAVAZZA123 and watched the screen as it 'obtained IP address...verified password....searched the galaxy for a signal'. It wouldn't let me go online so I assumed I was being my usual technologically inept self and asked the waiter for the password again in case I had gotten it wrong. To my dismay, I had in fact entered the password correctly, the guy just said "Sorry, sometime we have problems with the connection here, sometimes: "the internet just doesn't work..." Dun dun duuuunnnn!
My initial thought when he said there was no WiFi was:
"Oh...hmmmm...that's a pain in the arse...it's going to be a long 5 hours without a film to watch"
Then I said to the couple on the table across with their laptop:
"Wow, no internet, what a nightmare, I guess we could always do something crazy like talk to each other..." (now, if you know me then you will know the tone in which I said this to them was a tone that was meant to provoke amusement and subsequently a conversation)
The couple looked at me, awkwardly smiled, then completely ignored me! They literally did not know how to respond to someone actually asking them if they wanted to chat in order to help the time pass quicker! I couldn't believe this (pretty rude of them, right?!) so I then said:
"Well, I have a pack of cards in my hand luggage so if you want to play cards or something.... *trail off*" - they had already gone back to gazing longingly into the screen of their laptop - Refresh, re-load, Refresh, re-load......
My point is not that I desperately needed to have a deep and meaningful with these people, I was just a bit bored and restless. I just found it so baffling how rude, closed off and weird everyone in that cafe behaved.We exist online and chat away to millions of people, posting pictures of our holiday, replying to comments, sending emails, updating instagram, tweeting about god knows what (I don't have twitter but I am of course guilty of FB and Instagram). Online we are infallible, online we can say and do whatever the hell we want because we feel untouchable, we don't feel embarrassed; I would go as far to say that we feel a sense of power and righteousness when we are telling everyone who know (and loads of people we don't) things like:
'The cat fell off the sofa this morning LOL!' or
'OMG, worst week ever! Sad Emojii :( ' or
'Can't wait to get home and curl up on the sofa and watch Netflix with my baby- Love you Babes!' or 'Downstairs toilet is finally finished, [insert photo of the loo under the stairs] love the new tile colour' #thisisaphotoofwhereishiteveryday
This is all perfectly normal, reasonable behavior for us nowadays BUT...... a perfectly friendly fellow traveler stuck in the same cafe with nothing to do and a five hour wait with no WiFi trying to have a conversation with you in real life- HELL NO! Literally blew their tiny minds.
Here comes the real ridiculousness and irony.
After reading my book for an hour or so the check in desk had opened so I made my way down to put my bag on board and go through security. The conversation went like this:
United Airlines Man:Just checking in one bag?
Me: Yes, just this one.
United Airlines Man: Do you have your customs form for the USA?
Me: Yes, here it is.
United Airlines Man:Thanks, Oh....have you got a forwarding address for Missouri?
Me: No, sorry I don't, that's why I just put Kansas City Missouri. I am staying with a friend but she is collecting me from the airport so I didn't think to ask for it.
Me: No, sorry I don't, that's why I just put Kansas City Missouri. I am staying with a friend but she is collecting me from the airport so I didn't think to ask for it.
United Airlines Man: OK, the problem is when you arrive at US customs they will question you on it if you don't have an address so you will need to provide one.
Me: OK, the problem is I have no way of contacting my friend right now as the WiFi isn't working.
Me: OK, the problem is I have no way of contacting my friend right now as the WiFi isn't working.
United Airlines Man: THE WIFI ISN'T WORKING? WHAT? NOT IN THE CAFE? YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET THE INTERNET IN THE CAFE?!
Me: Nope, no one could get on so I can't send her a whatsapp and my phone doesn't work in Costa Rica so I can't call.
Me: Nope, no one could get on so I can't send her a whatsapp and my phone doesn't work in Costa Rica so I can't call.
United Airlines Man: OK, what I can do is put Kansas Missouri on the computer for now and when you get through security you should be able to get on to the Wifi over that side as the signal is really strong there. When you get signal then message your friend straight away to get the address and come and see one of us at the desk before you board the plane and we can update your information.
Me: That's fine, thanks for doing that....but what am I going to do if I can't get on the WiFi? Then I have no way of finding out the address until I get there.
United Airlines Man: In that case, it is unlikely they will let you into the USA...
Me: Brilliant...lets hope the bloody WiFi works then!
So there you have it! I was literally in a situation where I could not exist without an internet connection! Without the internet I couldn't get into the USA. Unbelievable!
Lucky for me, as you have probably gathered the WiFi was fine in the departure lounge, I whatsapped Emma and Jaime, got the address and gave it to the United Airlines Man. Then I sat down on the floor, looked around me and saw literally EVERYONE who wasn't sleeping on their phones- eagerly swiping through the vital information they may have missed in the last hour sin internet.
I made a pillow out of my bag and Will's hoody, shut my eyes and waited for my flight to be called.
Me: That's fine, thanks for doing that....but what am I going to do if I can't get on the WiFi? Then I have no way of finding out the address until I get there.
United Airlines Man: In that case, it is unlikely they will let you into the USA...
Me: Brilliant...lets hope the bloody WiFi works then!
So there you have it! I was literally in a situation where I could not exist without an internet connection! Without the internet I couldn't get into the USA. Unbelievable!
Lucky for me, as you have probably gathered the WiFi was fine in the departure lounge, I whatsapped Emma and Jaime, got the address and gave it to the United Airlines Man. Then I sat down on the floor, looked around me and saw literally EVERYONE who wasn't sleeping on their phones- eagerly swiping through the vital information they may have missed in the last hour sin internet.
I made a pillow out of my bag and Will's hoody, shut my eyes and waited for my flight to be called.
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